BRICKS FOR BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE
- How many of you are looking for a wonderful life partner?
- How many of you came here with burdens in your heart concerning your marriage and you are trusting God for a miracle?
- How many of you have good marriages, but you are here to learn how to make it better and sweeter?
- How many of you know that today, you will receive a word from God that will change your life forever?
- If you believe it, shout a big Halleluyah.
DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman before God.
Marriage is a university with matriculation and no convocation!
- How many of you want to get married?
- Why do you want to get married?
- Are you getting married for the right reasons or the wrong ones?
HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
For Procreation- Genesis 1:28
“And God blessed them and said unto them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth”
Security-both physical and financial
For companionship (Gen. 2:18)
“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
People marry because the fiancé is pregnant or because they had sex, enjoyed the experience or think they are compatible.
To fulfil sexual needs and fulfillment in the way God establishes it (Heb. 13:4)
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled ;but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Fear of being left out because of old age or status.
Because you believe it is God’s will for you to marry your spouse (Eph. 5:31-32)
“31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. “
Social pressure among peers, parents, church and friends
For partnership, love and communication – We get to know, understand, demonstrate and express love the way God intends it (1 John 4:8,18).
8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love…18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love”
Forced or arranged marriages
To copy your parents- because you come from a happy home
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR IN A HUSBAND
- Look for signs of responsibility
- Does he love children?
- Does he pay his bills?
- Is he always giving excuses for one thing or the other?
- Does he procrastinate?
- Is he always late?
- Is he a complainer?
- Is he an alcoholic/drug addict?
- Is he a liar?
- Does he fear God? (1 Peter 3:1-2)
1Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
Other traits to look out for
- Is he domineering or are you both domineering?
- Is he a flirt?
- Is he arrogant?
HOW TO PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE
- Your appearance -Esther
- Character – Ruth/Naomi
- Your circle of friends
It is very important that you marry for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones, because if your marriage is not based on the right foundation, the marriage will crumble.
“If the foundations are destroyed, What can the righteous do?”
So build your foundation on solid ground.
The bible says in Proverbs 14:1
“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
So what kind of bricks are you going to use or are you using to build yours?
As a married woman, you need to have the right attitude in marriage to make it last. There are things that we need to do, to go the extra mile and do things God’s way and not our way. The world may call you stupid or foolish and al sorts of other names, they believe in doing things their way, but you should know better.
If we follow the teachings and examples that Jesus gave us in the bible, then our marriages will be blissful.
Christianity is a very different way of life from all other religions of the world. Jesus expects us to stand out from others by going the extra mile. He came to the world to demonstrate this and to teach us how to be different. Let us look at the scriptures and see evidences of his life and teachings, when he taught us.
- To look the other way when offended – Luke 6:29
“To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also.”
- Be slow to speak, do not be quick to respond to everything- John 19:1
“Then Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?”
- Be gentle and demonstrate gentleness every time- Matthew 10:16 (Story of Esther)
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”
- He always responds with wisdom. He expects us to do the same- 1 Corinthians 14:20 (Story of Abigail)
“Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature.”
- He taught us to be peace makers – Matthew 5:9 (Story of Abigail)
“Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.”
- He taught us prayer, patience and perseverance -Luke 18:10 (Esther)
“Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always
ought to pray and not lose heart.”
Once again, ask yourself: How should I make my marriage work? which bricks do I need to build my marriage?
- Don’t repay evil for evil. Two wrongs never make a right. Because your husband is irresponsible and not providing for the home, is not enough reason for you to become irresponsible as well
38“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also”
- Do not engage in adultery to meet your needs – Deuteronomy 5:18
“You shall not commit adultery.”
- Don’t be quick to play the blame game. It always takes two to tango. Look inwards and see your own faults.
“4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
What other bricks should we consider?
- Don’t be greedy- live within your means (Aso-ebi syndrome)
- Completely submit yourself to your husband including all your earthly possessions
- Honour and respect him- both in his presence and absence. Do not disrespect him in the presence of your family, friends or the children
- Pamper him, take care of him as you would your child
Do this, irrespective of what your husband does or doesn’t do,
and the Lord God will reward you in Jesus name.
All women standing, say this prayer after me:
Help me to be the helper you created me to be
Lord let my husband be captivated by my love
Father, may he always be satisfied with my bossom
(The bossom of the wife of his youth)
Give me the grace, to live above the spirit of anger
Help me to build my home and not tear it down
But most of all Lord, give my husband a new wife, but let it be me
In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
In the name of the Holy Spirit
God bless you.