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  • RE-CAP:
  • WHY?
  • HOW TO SEARCH.
  • WHAT TO LOOK FOR.
  • WHERE TO LOOK
  • WRONG REASONS

Definition of Marriage:

 “The union of two people of the opposite sex who have pledged to love one another unconditionally and live together forever with God as their witness.” (UOM)

God is the witness of all marriages, whether you do it in secret or with just one witness or with three thousand witnesses.

I pray for those who are still looking for life partners/spouses that today shall be a turning point in the Name of Jesus.

Those who say you will not marry MUST let you go in the name of Jesus.

God’s desire/reasons for marriage

  1. To tend the Land (Man) – to look after the Earth.

Genesis 2:15

Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

  1. Supporter: (Woman) – that person who will help him fulfil that God given role. Give him aid to achieve his purpose.

Genesis. 2:18

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

  1. One flesh

– man supposed to look after the wife.

– Godly offspring.

Malachi 2:15 

But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

  1. Procreate – populate the earth.

Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

  1. Sex – to enjoy sex legally; according to the will of God

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 

but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

The Search: HOW?

PREPARE yourself – you are both looking.

  1. Prayer: God is our enabler.
  • You need to know God; better still if you can give your life to Christ, it makes all the difference.

Philippians 4:6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

  • Ask Him what you want.
  1. Looks (Men & Women)
  • Dressing (Dress the way you want to be addressed). What and who do you want to look like?
  • Professional Dressing
  • Casual Dressing
  • Social Dressing
  • Grooming
  • Hair
  • Personal Hygiene
    • Deodorant
    • Mouthwash
    • Douching
    • Laundry
  1. Character/Qualities (What makes a good wife or husband?)
  • Extrovert/Introvert?
  • Responsible/Reliable
  • Disciplined
  • Generous
  • Loving
  • Proud/humble
  • Resilient
  • Patient
  • Kind
  • Homebuilder
  • PRAYERS
  • Lord Jesus, I pray for divine direction. Lead me to my God-ordained life partner
  • I dissociate myself from any covenant or evil prophecy of late marriage
  • I pray that any strange marks on my body be rubbed off and washed away with the blood of Jesus

Galatians 3:13

Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”

  • In this programme, O Lord, I divorce my own will to receive your will. Help me to make the right choice
  • Lord, open my eyes, help me to shine them well and beyond seductive evil forces of the enemy IJN.
  • I reject every spiritual marriage certificate signed in the spirit world on my behalf to nullify my marriage here on earth
  • I reject the provision of a counterfeit spouse IJN.
  • Lord Jesus as from today, my footsteps shall be directed to the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh or to my Boaz IJN.

Parents/Grandparents

  • Lord, I believe you have created my son/daughter for a special woman/man, bring their union to pass IJN.
  • Father, in the name of Jesus just as Abraham sent his servant to find his son Isaac a wife, send the Holy Spirit to bring my sons and daughters’ future spouses IJN.
  • READERS – Pray from your heart.
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  • Marriage is a beautiful institution that originated from God Himself.

 

  • It is meant to be a beautiful experience, a foretaste of “heaven on earth”.

 

  • There are different phases in marriage and it needs different behaviour. If you are no willing to change and adapt, you will not enjoy your marriage

 

Quotes on Change

  • Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.”

 

  • Henry Ford also said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

 

  • Wikkipedia defined INSANITY as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT SHOULD CHANGE?

FOR MEN:

  1. THE VIOLENT MAN:

Ephesians 5:28

“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”

 

  • These ones are easily provoked at the slightest opportunity?
  • These ones beat their wives to show that they are the boss in the house.
  • They will be quick to tell the woman “I am the man in this house”

GOLDEN RULE: If you love your wife as your own body, you will not be violent to her or mistreat her.

 

  1. THE ABSENTEE FATHER/ UNAVAILABLE MAN

Proverbs 27:8

“Like a bird that wanders from its nest, Is a man who wanders from his place.”

 

  • These are the men that are never around to support their wife and children.
  • They are either womanisers or workaholics
  • Some of them prefer to be with their friends rather than go home after work

GOLDEN RULE: Love your wife and family and be there for them

 

  1. THE IRRESPONSIBLE REPRESENTATIVE

1 Timothy 5:8

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

 

  • They are very generous to everyone else except their wife and children. They will not provide enough for their family even when they can do so.
  • These will put their brother, sister, mother, friend rather than their wife as their next of kin in their offices
  • If they buy a property or properties their immediate family will not be in the know.
  • These ones do not protect their family from undue family interference

GOLDEN RULE: Provide for your family’s need as much as you can and protect them from any harmful environment or persons

 

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT SHOULD CHANGE?

FOR WOMEN:

  1. A SCATTERER

Proverbs 14:10

“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

  • These kinds of women are the ones that always stoke the fire of war in the family
  • If her husband is angry with his siblings, instead of trying to make peace, she will be butting their heads against each other

GOLDEN RULE: Learn to always seek the path of peace

 

2.THE UNGRATEFUL WOMAN

2 Timothy 3:2

“For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,”

  • These kinds of women are never appreciative of their husbands no matter what he does
  • They are always comparing him with others who they feel are better, richer, more loving than their husbands
  • They are never satisfied with their status in life
  1. Selfish: she always wants everything to be done her way or not at all

 

  1. THE DISRESPECTFUL WOMAN

Esther 1:10-12

10 On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded….seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, 11 to bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing her royal crown, in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials, for she was beautiful to behold. 12 But Queen Vashti refused to come at the command brought by his eunuchs; therefore, the king was furious, and his anger burned within him.

 

  • These kinds of women are very rude to their husbands
  • They do not listen to advise or instruction
  • They are selfish and they want things to always go their way
  • They treat him anyhow especially when they are making more money than him

 

GOLDEN RULE: Learn to give honour and respect to your husband as the head of the home and family

 

CRITERIA FOR SUCCESS IN THE HOME

  • The major criteria for success in Marriage is God wants us to become one in mind, soul and body when we get married.

 

  • There is so much power in unity: Jesus Christ prayed to God the Father in John 17:11 to make the disciples one.

“Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are.”

 

  • God acknowledges that nothing will be impossible to those who unite. They will accomplish whatever they put their minds to.

 

Remember the tower of babel in Genesis 11:5-6?

“But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6And the Lord said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them”

 

  • The same will happen in any marriage relationship that both partners are in one accord.

 

The devil understands this as well and so he will try to ensure that couples do not access the power that lies in unity.

 

How does the devil fight UNITY in the Marriage?

  1. He does this by causing misunderstanding and miscommunication between the couple.

 

  1. When misunderstandings occur each partner blames the other and no one wants to accept being in the wrong

 

  1. If this lingers for too long, it might cause a rift that may be difficult to bridge and which could eventually lead to separation and divorce

 

WHO SHOULD CHANGE IN MARRIAGE?

  • Al Hoffman andDick Manning (1952) said “it takes two to tango”.

 

  • For the marriage to work, the husband must be willing to make allowances as well as the wife. If it is only one partner that is doing all the change and adjustments, the partner may eventually get tired and feel that he/she is being taken for granted.

 

WHAT TO CHANGE?

YOUR ATTITUDE WILL DETERMINE YOUR ALTITUDE – ZIG ZIGLAR

CHANGE TIPS

  1. Don’t say anything negative to your spouse. If you don’t have something positive to say, keep quiet

 

James 1:19

“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

 

 

  1. Show an unexpected gesture as an act of kindness

Ephesians 4:32

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you”

 

  1. Be generous towards your partner to show how much you value them

 

Proverbs 11:25

“The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself.”

 

  1. Ask after the welfare of your spouse. Be mindful of them

 

  1. Pray for one another

James 5:16

“and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much”.

 

 

  1. Listen to each other, don’t be quick to jump to conclusion

James 1:19

“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, 

 

  1. Study your spouse, learn to know what they like and don’t like

 

  1. Watch out for parasites; things that suck life out of your marriage. They may be in the form of addictions, negative friends

 

 

Conclusion

The desire of God for our marriages is that it should be joyful and happy.

 

Therefore, it is our responsibility to fight for our marriages and our family. God will help us and our homes will become a place of refuge and succor to all the members in Jesus name. Amen

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