I do know that we have a common goal:



KEY Questions

  • Do you and your spouse quarrel over money all the time?
  • Are you on the verge of packing up your marriage because of funds?
  • Are you trying to change your car and having difficulty?
  • Are you poor in health and unable to pay your medical bills or even purchase medicine?
  • Are you living with your friends because the landlord has thrown out your bags and baggages?
  • Are you now sleeping in an uncompleted building?
  • Have you had to pawn your belongings to provide for your family?
  • Or on compulsory fasting, with no hope of where the next meal will come from?
  • Have you been selling your body or your children for money?
  • Have you been looking for money in the wrong places by employing the help of ‘babalawos’/false prophets/native doctors?
  • Have your children been sent out of school because of none payment of school fees?
  • Have you been unable to service your bank loans or honour your obligation to your esu-su partners?
  • Has your business failed and you now have nowhere to turn?
  • Has the recent drop in oil prices changed your life and the future suddenly seems bleak?
  • Have you now decided to join a cult?

Others may say it is not the end of the world but the children of God say:





  • I pray we have an awesome time in God’s glorious presence and that we all leave here today free from financial burdens/debt IJN
  • On Mount Zion, there shall be deliverance and there shall be holiness, and the house of Jacob shall possess their possessions, and so shall all your children before you here today IJN
  • And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
  • Your anointing breaks the yoke, therefore every burden of lack is broken IJN

Interactive Session

We need to find solutions to some of the situations I enumerated earlier. These are issues many are going through, often times in silence and even in pretence as if all is well. But right now, we are going to be very practical and factual with one another.

Any unction without action leads to failure and frustration


James 2.20

The bible says faith without action is dead.

 So, let’s have some action:


Let us do some networking. You have had financial challenges in the past, but to the glory of God, you have been able to scale through by solving them. Others are still going through different types of financial challenges. Now, please get up to interact with someone else to learn from one another within five minutes. Nobody needs your name, just go straight to the point.

Now let’s do this:

Done!   Done!    Done!

How many had their problems solved in the past and just shared it with others?

 How many now have new insight and are going to try out that method?


So, let us look at the keys for this financial freedom:




Hebrews 11:1-3

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible. Hebrews 11:1-3

  • If we key into the death of Jesus on the cross and just believe BY FAITH, then receiving becomes much easier
  • We need to believe that with God all things are possible
    • Your faith shall not fail you
    • God will change your trials to testimonies
    • Your mockeries to miracles and
    • move you from shame to fame,
    • and from poverty to prosperity in Jesus Mighty name



Get the vision for your life and be focused in achieving it

Ecclesiastes 9:11-12


I returned and saw under the sun that— The race is not to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding,
Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all.
For man also does not know his time:  


As the saying goes in Yoruba, KIRA KITA O DOLA – it is not the amount of energy you put in that brings the finances BUT GOD gives the power to get wealth.


 Receive it in Jesus name.



Pursue Excellence


Prov 22:29

Do you see a man who excels in his work?

He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men.


When, like our God of Excellence, only the best will do in your agenda, you begin to see the results. Rome was not built in a day and everything takes diligence, persistence, discipline, and hard work.


My late mother was the one who taught me that it is poverty that kills, and not hard work. I believed her and made it one of my mantras.


Pursue great attention to detail because it gives rise to perfection. It is said that practice makes perfect. Find out your ability, build on it and go over it again and again. Take cognizance of areas others would have overlooked, everything counts and must not be ignored, it may be the key. So, practice with your potential.


Also, learn to finish with one assignment before going on to the next. Our God is a God of order.


Honour and Love God


Is 61:7

Instead of your shame you shall have double honour

And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double;

Everlasting joy shall be their portion.


Honour the Lord,

Love Him from your heart,

Praise Him at all times,

Celebrate Him

Rejoice before Him with gratitude in your heart

Sing and dance before Him with gladness

Magnify Him forever


It is not the amount of prayers that you say to God that moves Him as much as your love for Him, your relationship with Him and your gratitude to Him.


Where there is love there is giving

It was because of God’s love for us that He gave Jesus for our lives

It was because of Abraham’s love for God that he was willing to give Isaac to the Lord as a sacrifice

It is because our spouses love us that we get gifts from them


So, as you honour and love God, He will give you your heart’s desires IJN



Adopt the Spirit of Thanksgiving


Acts 16:25-26

But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly  there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.


The power of praise supersedes the power of prayer because our praise goes to God as a sweet smelling savour every time.


Therefore, when you sing to the Lord, prison doors will open for you

You will come out of financial problems

You will come out of every form of bondage

Every evil door closed against your finances is broken

Every door bringing lack and poverty is smashed to pieces NOW IJN


The Power of Giving


Plse look for scripture that says: Give and it will come back to you pressed down shaken together and running over,  etc. Quote here




Prov 11:24-25

There is one who scatters, yet increases more;

And there is one who withholds more than is right,

 but it leads to poverty

The generous soul will be made rich

And he who waters will also be watered himself


Learn to give for the things of God by faith, even in the place of apparent lack.


God honours the desires of our hearts to glorify himself.


Your giving and your thanksgiving shall never fail you


Continue to give Him, givers never lac


He makes a way where there seems to be no way


(Sing: God will make a way, where there seems to be no way,

Quote plese…………………………





Pay Your Tithes


Malachi 3:10-11


“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,

That there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this”, says the Lord of Hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, so that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field”


If we believe all wealth flows from the loving provision of God, our role is to be sensible, faithful stewards as caretakers of God’s assets.



His promises are ye and amen.


God is not to be mocked, nor is He a man that He should lie,

But every word that goes out of His mouth shall not go back to him void.


When you tithe a minimum of10% of your income or your profit, you are sowing seeds out of poverty

You are delivering yourself out of the camp of the devourer


Your business will not fail

Your children will not die

There shall be no barrenness in your camp

You shall be fruitful and multiply

The hand of God shall be upon you and yours IJN









Prov 24:3

Through wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
By knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.


From now on I open my eyes to your leading

I open my heart and my mind to receive it

Holy Spirit, I open my hands to lay hold of my portion

And my mouth shall testify of it IJN


  • Story of Joseph – Genesis 39:7-10
  • Joseph’s story is a roller-coaster ride from
  • favorite son to
  • slave to master of the house to
  • prisoner to

 Prime Minister of Egypt


  • It is both amazing and inspiring.
  • The bible says in


Genesis 39:7-10

Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.

And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.”

But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her.


Joseph’s story is a roller-coaster ride from

 favorite son to

slave to master of the house to

prisoner to

 Prime Minister of Egypt


It is both amazing and inspiring.

The bible says in


Romans 8:28

All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.


Joseph loved God and was called for God’s purpose.

Have you discovered your purpose in life? He has created us individually for a purpose. If you do not yet know, seek His face to find out.



 Father, minister to me that I may know what you created me for.


I pray that I will not leave this sinful world without fulfilling my purpose IJN Amen


Joseph concluded with his brothers in:




 Genesis 50:20  But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

  • What an inspiring example of God at work in the affairs of men to accomplish His ultimate purposes! Joseph’s story can be looked at from a financial angle.


  • The turning point of Joseph’s experience in Egypt occurred when he interpreted a pair of dreams for Pharaoh. He realized that Egypt would soon experience seven years of abundance, followed by seven years of famine.


  • Nigeria also experienced years of abundance at different stages. We should have learnt from the 2008 sharp drop in oil prices then by saving for a rainy day and not be caught up in another slide that we are experiencing now.


  • Joseph was put in charge of the preparations during the years of plenty, so the people could survive the coming years of famine.


  • I wonder if Nigeria is facing similar ‘years of plenty and years of famine’? After all we found oil 5 years after I was born and I am almost 64 years old.
  • Maybe we should borrow a leaf from Joseph’s divine wisdom and apply it to our economic challenges both individually and nationally.
  • Let’s consider some statistics:
  • In 2012, The United Nations Economic Commission for Africa said Nigeria’s Growth Domestic Product (GDP) was put at $509.9 billion as against South Africa’s $353 billion.


  • In the 24 years since the last GDP was estimated, there has been spectacular growth in a number of sectors including the telecoms sector.


  • Then there were only about 300,000 phone lines owned solely by Nitel, compared to about 120 million phone lines now owned by a few operators.


  • Our flour milling capacity alone ranks among the largest in the world and all the products are sold and consumed within Nigeria.


Then Nollywood did not exist but is now ranked as, the world’s third largest producer of films in the world after the United States’ Hollywood and India’s Bollywood.


  • Twenty-four years ago, we didn’t have the size of the banks we have today and the size of financial services on offer


  • YET! The UN claims that there are at least 70 per cent of Nigerians who are desperately poor.


  • Nigeria remains a country of paradoxes.


  • It is not just Africa’s largest oil producer which also imports refined oil products, but is Africa’s largest economy with the highest incidence of poverty.


  • With a population of approximately 174 million people, 122 million live in abject poverty, using the acceptable extreme poverty line of $1.25 a day.


Some lessons learnt are:

  • Move from a nation of consumers to producers
  • Work diligently to be debt-free,
    • Invest for the future and
    • Diversify broadly.


  • Joseph wisely saved 20% of the harvested grain, and was able to save not only Egypt during the famine, but the surrounding nations as well.


  • That should be our goal—to be faithful stewards now while times are good, in preparation for any future depression.


  • God uses any situation to get our attention.


  • I too have a story to share on how I found financial freedom using some of the principles I have shared with you. I believe that hearing individual stories help people to grasp the teaching – Oil Story



  • God’s preparation for license: (met friend on board)
  • Refused no for an answer – Dared to dream BIG

(Applied for license) – Delay is not denial

  • Drought in the wilderness
  • Searching for God/ Covenant
  • Change of Ministers/Fasting
  • After license – No technical partners/STATOIL
  • No bribe
  • Do you know Mr Texaco? – God took care of him
  • No form of compromise in the process to obtain the license/refused to sell license and the rest is history


MARRIAGE:  Finding financial freedom is about choosing the right spouse.



He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22    


  • BUT, If you have a spouse with very high taste, there is every tendency you will live beyond your means and run into financial problems. Pick a wife with wisdom!





If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5


  • DON’T fall in love with good looks and charms – ‘MAN ABOUT TOWN’ but irresponsible and you end up shouldering all the financial responsibilities of the family
    • To put it another way, you should not wait until you’re madly in love and committed before finding out your future husband is a gambler or hugely in debt
    • Talk about everything – don’t be scared to discuss both your finances
    • Experts say arguments about money are aleading cause of divorce – It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money for both men and women
  • The first step toward building a solid foundation around money in your marriage is to be honest and openly discuss all financial matters including your
    • experiences, hopes, and fears, (such as how did your parents manage money)
  • as well, to see whether you have common values, such as savings and investments


Shine your eyes – all that glitters is not gold!


  • Looking for a spouse – jot down what you want in a man or woman
  • Take it to the Lord in prayer
  • Wait for the answer; God will bring the right Mr. or Mrs. Right for your destiny, DO not settle for less than God has for you and you will live happily ever after


For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:3


  • Better to end a bad relationship than a bad marriage
  • Divorce is not an option, prayerfully find a way to make it work.


  • By the grace of God – been married for almost 40 years to a dashing young lawyer (Mr. Modupe Alakija)
  • Blessed with 4 sons and grand children




  1. Live beyond your means (‘cut your coat according to your size’, keeping up with the Joneses’)
    1. Curb your excesses – drinking, womanizing, waste of resources :


For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty,
And drowsiness will clothe a man with rags. Proverbs 23:21


  1. Getting caught up in GET RICH QUICK SYNDROME/SCAMS – in Nigeria we say Beware of 419




Take a course on financial management (be prudent)

  1. Talk to a financial planner
  2. Do a weekly, monthly budgets
  3. Stay within your budget (you don’t always have to take aso-ebi, don’t always eat out, save by packing food from home), find ways to save money
  4. Fast & Pray (save the money for the money on lunches at work and see what that comes to each week); over a period it can be substantial




Tips from people who have found financial freedom  :


  1. LEARNING FROM MISTAKES & DON’T GIVE UP – Failure is a good thing – Hakeem Belo-Osagie, Chairman – Etisalat

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, made several attempts before succeeding in inventing the light bulb.

Learn and improve on your mistakes.


If I had given up, I wouldn’t be here today speaking to you

(Remember the oil license story I told earlier)


  1. VISION – A vision on its own is not enough. Hard work & dedication is required to make that vision a reality – Strive Masiyiwa, Zimbabwe founder and chairman of global telecommunications group Econet Wireless.


Though hard work and dedication have their place, we know as CHRISTIANS that it is all about GOD’S AMAZING GRACE!


  1. UPGRADE – BE THE BEST – In whatever you do, strive to be the best at it – Aliko Dangote’s empire has become a world class phenomenon

(Fashion House Story – I went back to school to learn fashion design at the age of 34 before opening Supreme Stitches which later became Rose of Sharon House of Fashion)


Entrepreneurial Spirit (Passion for Business – started small – trading in different commodities from time to time, was willing to work hard, built on values of hard work and resilience imbibed as a young girl, helping my mother in her business)


Ikorodu/Ijebu heritage – famous and successful business men and women in various industries)


  1. SUCCESSION PLAN/NEXT GENERATION – In business you have to know when to retire, before someone knocks you out.” – Lauritz (Laurie) Dippenaar, South African built a financial services empire.


Build lasting legacies

The biblical frame of reference for finances is that God is the source of all our gain.


1 Chronicles 29 :12


“Both riches and honor come from You, And You reign over all.
In Your hand is power and might; In Your hand it is to make great
And to give strength to all”.


Total freedom takes its source and root from Jesus

Financial freedom from God’s standpoint is not limited to currency – But a TOTAL PACKAGE – spiritual, physical, financial, moral, marital (happy home), relationship, etc. the ability to experience and enjoy God’s blessings.

It is Satan that puts people in bondage, but the truth sets them free.

John 8:31-36

………Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

God is not opposed to personal monetary wealth. Many prominent bible characters were quite well-to-do, including Abraham, Job, Joseph, and Solomon. But God is concerned that we view riches from His perspective.


God Is Our Sole Source of Blessing

Without God, we are unable to amass wealth. While our labor, diligence, planning and wisdom are vital, God remains the sole source of blessing. He is the fountainhead of life, health, food, sun, and all other necessary elements for prosperity. As Creator, all of life is His gift. He is the Prime Giver.

James 1:17


Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”

  • God gives it all and God owns it all.

Honor the Lord with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine – Proverbs 3:9-10

  • He designates us as caretakers of His assets.
  • Our spending and investments then become extensions of His will. Following the careful guidelines of Scripture, we can wisely manage God’s riches.
    • Learn to Save/Invest : in stocks, shares and insurance (e.g. educational insurance for children’s education, dead or alive – plan for the future, save for the rainy day)
    • Joseph taught about saving during the years of famine and plenty (Genesis 47:13-27) Principles of living debt free
  • What matters is not how much we possess, but how we use what we are entrusted with.
  • The biblically wealthy individual may be rich or poor according to the world’s standards. Regardless, he or she knows that wealth is not measured by Naira, pounds or dollars. God is the source of all riches, and we are called to the noble task of managing God’s gracious gifts. We are His resource centres, His managers or His distributors.


Deutronomy 8: 17-18


…..then you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.’ And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.



We must be accountable to God first, our spouse and family and conduct businesses with honesty and integrity

We must be born again

God can and will change your story (1 Chronicles 4:10 – the story of Jabez)


  • No compromise, cutting corners or taking short cuts



ABIOLA, where is the rest?


My Guiding Principles




  • I take everything to God first in prayer (each day begins very every with prayer time and throughout the day)
  • RoSGMI



MY CALL TO SERVICE –  Widows & Orphans


  • The Rose of Sharon Foundation (RoSF) is a private, voluntary, non-profit, faith based, non-governmental organisation focused on easing the burdens of existence for widows and orphans.
  • Founded in 2005 and began full operation in May 2008.
  • provided grants to more than 973 widows
  • educational assistance by the awards of scholarships to 1,366 widows’ children and 86 orphans.




In the past few years, especially since I pursued my passion and foray into business, by the grace of God, I am determined more than ever to living every day to the fullest, filled with joy, passion and rigor.


It’s an amazing experience that I pray that you experience that freedom too.


As you begin to make adjustments in YOUR life

I pray also that you give everything to God in prayer, learning to TRUST GOD ONLY with all your decisions and that

He grants you wisdom and showers you with His unfailing love


You have been a wonderful audience, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.



Scriptures for Healing

Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.


  • John 6 :33

It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life


  • 1 Corinthians 6 : 19

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?


  • Psalm 9 : 10

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You;
For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.


  • Romans 8 : 11


But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.


  • Psalm 107 : 20

He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.


  • Jeremiah 30 : 17

For I will restore health to you
And heal you of your wounds,’ says the Lord,
‘Because they called you an outcast saying:
“This is Zion; No one seeks her


  • John 15 : 7

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you


  • Mathew 8 : 17(b)

 that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying:

He Himself took our infirmities
And bore our sicknesses


  • Isaiah 58 : 8 (a)

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily


  • Malachi 4 : 2

But to you who fear My name
The Sun of Righteousness shall arise
With healing in His wings


  • Malachi 3 : 11

And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes,
So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground,
Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,
Says the Lord of hosts



Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.

But to you who fear My name The Sun of Righteousness shall arise With healing in His wings; And you shall go out And grow fat like stall-fed calves.



In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.


Fruit of the Womb


And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb

  • Psalm 92 : 14

They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing

  • Psalm 128 : 3

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children like olive plants
All around your table

  • Psalm 113 : 9

He grants the barren woman a home,
Like a joyful mother of children

  • Exodus 23 : 26

No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days

  • Deuteronomy 28 : 3-4

Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country.

“Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks

  • James 1 : 17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning

  • Isaiah 65 : 23

They shall not labor in vain,
Nor bring forth children for trouble;
For they shall be the descendants of the blessed of the Lord,
And their offspring with them

  • Psalm 128 : 36

Your children like olive plants
All around your table

  • Genesis 35 : 11

Also God said to him: “I am God Almighty. Be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall proceed from you, and kings shall come from your body

  • Luke 1 : 42

Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb

  • Deuteronomy 7 : 13

And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you

  • Psalm 127 : 3- 4

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth

Psalm 92 : 4

..shall be fruitful in old age







  • Let us spend a moment in prayer for our great country –
    • For our leaders
    • Peace in our land – North, South, East & West
    • For an end to terror and insurgency in the land
    • And for all God has in store for us this year and beyond





We do not need to over-emphasize that there is power in the word of God but we can remind ourselves and encourage one another.  The sword of the Spirit is the word of God (Eph 6:17). God used it to create the heavens and the earth and created us in His own image.

God is calling us to come up higher; we can term it to mean it is His will for us to move up higher spiritually, financially and for our general well being.

He says in Matthew 6: 33

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

So, whichever level you are now, endeavour to move to the next level of spirituality by getting closer to Him, knowing His will, obeying Him and generally reaching out to others.

Say to yourself: “I am coming up higher, – This year is my year”.

Let us examine some of the ways we can move up higher.  There is only one major thing to focus on, and that is to “seek God Himself”.  Everything radiates around Him first and foremost and then all others fall into place as He leads us by His Spirit through the word.

Using The Word

Jeremiah 5:14

 14 Therefore thus says the Lord God of hosts:

“Because you speak this word; Behold, I will make My words in your mouth fire,
And this people wood, And it shall devour them.

 With the Bible we have all that we need.

 Joshua 1:5; 8-9

 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

The key instructions here are that we should meditate on the bible day and night, basically, all the time.  He promises to protect us and that nobody will ever be able to prevail against us.  We can also claim territories we step into. We will be successful in all we do, if only we can have courage.  Read the word; believe it and you will “come up higher”. 

2 Kings 2: 19-22

19 Then the men of the city said to Elisha, “Please notice, the situation of this city is pleasant, as my lord sees; but the water is bad, and the ground barren.”

20 And he said, “Bring me a new bowl, and put salt in it.” So they brought it to him. 21 Then he went out to the source of the water, and cast in the salt there, and said, “Thus says the Lord: ‘I have healed this water; from it there shall be no more death or barrenness.’” 22 So the water remains healed to this day, according to the word of Elisha which he spoke.

Pray profusely, open your mouth and tell God everything exactly as it is.  Don’t pretend, He is your father and always willing to help and to bless you.

Psalm 1:1-6

1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,

2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers.

4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Again, we are told to delight in the bible and meditate day and night.  He promises abundant blessings in return.  We will be fruitful, we will flourish and prosper in all we lay our hands upon, if only we can “Come up higher”.

Psalm 92: 12-15

12 The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.

13 Those who are planted in the house of the Lord Shall flourish in the courts of our God.

14 They shall still bear fruit in old age; They shall be fresh and flourishing,

15 To declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

Here we are told that the righteous shall flourish and shall be like a cedar tree. These are tall, evergreen and have wide spreading branches.

Also we are promised that we shall still bear fruit in old age. This means that we can still accomplish much, we can impact positively on others, encourage, help, deposit experiences and knowledge gathered, win even more souls and reach out generally and with great impact.

God desires we should have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10)

There is no need to manage our lives.   You greet some people, `’how are you?”  And they respond with “I am managing!”  That will not be your portion IJN. 

“Come up higher” and you will see the reward.


  • Exercise Your Faith

Hebrews 11:1

We are saved by faith (Galatians 2:20)

20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

We must live by faith (Hebrews 10:38a)

38a Now the just shall live by faith;

 Whatsoever is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23b)

23 But he who doubts is condemned

By faith Abraham left his home country and followed the Lord’s leading.  The rest is history as you and I are his descendants and are enjoying his blessings or supposed to be enjoying depending on your level of faith and spirituality.


We read that Abraham’s servant went to look for a wife for his son Isaac and did it by faith through specific prayer and God answered him immediately.  Later, Jacob in the next generation did his through flesh and ended up working for between 18-20 years of hard work to get his wife.  Therefore, our genuine faith gives us grace and enablement to prosper in our endeavours.


Therefore, “Come up higher”. Apply faith and not flesh.  God is waiting.


Say to your self: “Lord give me grace to know the difference between favour and labour IJN.


  • Obedience to God and Those In Authority


Those in authority include our bosses, husbands, our leaders, spiritual heads and parents among others.  The bible tells us that if we truly love God we will obey Him.


John 14:15 & 21


15“If you love Me, keepMy commandments.

21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”


1 John 2:4


4 He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.


If and when God gives us commandments, whether through revelation or prophecy, or even through study and meditation, and we don’t obey then we definitely don’t love Him and are therefore liars.







Also, through obedience in soul winning, many are saved:

Romans 5:19


18Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.


Deuteronomy 11:26 & 27

26    “Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse:


We receive blessings when we obey God.


1 Samuel 15:22


So Samuel said:

“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,

As in obeying the voice of the LORD?

Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,

And to heed than the fat of rams.


You can bring all you own to God and yet it would not make any difference to Him if there is disobedience in your life, not only to Him but ANY of those in authority.


Therefore, I admonish you to obey even more than before:


“Come up higher” And begin to enjoy His blessings in a new dimension.


Tell your neighbor, “I am moving up”


  • Unity In Cooperation


When was the last time you agreed to agree with others?  Are you willing to co-operate with others or are you always wanting to get your way, wanting to outshine others or do you just enjoy making things tough for others?  Have a rethink!


God said in Genesis 11:6


6 And the LORD said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them.


This means there is power in unity and that we can achieve our goals as a result. 


Acts 2:1-4: The disciples and others received the baptism of the Holy Ghost for the first time.

In like manner Matthew 18:19


19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.


God promises to answer when we do agreement prayers. (My recent back pains)


  • Trust God The More


Psalm 125:1-2

1 Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.

2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore

God provides strength and assurance for us in difficult times.  When we trust Him, we are secure and immovable as Mount Zion where the temple was built, is immovable.


Proverbs 3:5-6


5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him; And He shall direct your paths.


God has never been found to lie. So why should we hold back in trusting Him since there’s more to gain than trusting in possessions or man. Move away from trusting in such. “Come up higher”.


  • Give More From Now On


Luke 6:38


38 Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”


Proverbs 3:27-28


27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due; when it is in the power of your hand to do so.

28 Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come back, And tomorrow I will give it,” When you have it with you.


2 Chronicles 9:6-9


6 However I did not believe their words until I came and saw with my own eyes; and indeed the half of the greatness of your wisdom was not told me. You exceed the fame of which I heard.

7 Happy are your men and happy arethese your servants, who stand continually before you and hear your wisdom!

8 Blessed be the Lord your God, who delighted in you, setting you on His throne to be king for the Lord your God! Because your God has loved Israel, to establish them forever, therefore He made you king over them, to do justice and righteousness.”

9 And she gave the king one hundred and twenty talents of gold, spices in great abundance, and precious stones; there never were any spices such as those the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon.


When you open your hands to bless others, it is also open to receive. 


The law of sowing and reaping is prevalent.  There is harvest when you plant.



  • Show More Gratitude Than Before


Psalm 34:1


1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.


1 Thessalonians 5:18

18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.


Psalm 107:8


8 Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness; And for His wonderful works to the children of men!


The more you give thanks, the more you receive.  God honours our giving and delights in a grateful heart.  Grace abounds where there is a thankful heart.







  • Thank God for daily benefits Psalm 103:1-5
  • Ask God to forgive you and help you forgive others 1 John 1:9; Luke 17:4
  • Ask God for mercy Hebrews 4:16
  • ROSGMI/FAMILY: To flourish like palm tree Ps 92:12
  • Cover yourself with the blood of Jesus all through the fast. Exodus 12:23




  • Power to do unimaginable things rest on me now IJN. Acts 1:1-8
  • Reject all forms of sickness and disease this year IJN 3 John 2:1
  • Ask for empowerment to shun every form of ungodliness and live righteously Titus 2:12
  • ROSGMI/FAMILY: Establish His covenant of fruitfulness Proverbs 10:22
  • New doors of opportunities are open to me now IJN. 1 Corinthians 16:9




  • Deliver us from National blood shed IJN Psalm 122:6-7
  • Protect us and mould a pillar of fire around us and our families IJN Exodus 14:19-20
  • Paralyse all demonic hindrances against our income and businesses IJN Malachi 3:11
  • Reject every spirit of lack and poverty IJN Psalm 34:10
  • Declare fruitfulness in every aspect of your life IJN Proverbs 11:30





  • Oh Lord, direct me/my children to locate my spouse/their spouses supernaturally IJN. Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22
  • My marriage will live up to God’s expectation IJN. Ephesians 5:22-29
  • I overcome every opposition against me and my destiny IJN 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
  • I will continually break forth with sounds of rejoicing all through the year IJN Psalm 118:15
  • Oh Lord, heal our land, churches, members and families as we humble ourselves and pray 2 Chronicles 7:14




  • Release on the Servant-Leader divine power to do great exploits IJN Acts 1:8; Daniel 11:32b
  • Make the life of the Servant-Leader and her family untouchable to the enemy IJN Psalm 105:15
  • Rain your righteousness upon this nation IJN. Proverbs 14:24
  • Cause the glory of ROSGMI to arise and shine forth IJN Isaiah 60:1
  • Ask for great grace and power for the expansion of ROSGMI IJN Acts 4:33





  • Release to us power to get wealth individually and as a ministry IJN Deuteronomy 8:18
  • Break every yoke of stagnation in your life, family and ministry IJN Isaiah 10:27; John 5:5-9
  • Restore and revive our nation’s economy oh Lord IJN Joel 2:25-27; Psalm 126:1-4
  • My Father, let the earth yield her increase for me IJN Psalm 67:6
  • Declare that the counsel of the enemy over your family is nullified IJN Deuteronomy 28:7



  • I dispossess the enemy of what rightfully belongs to me IJN 2 Samuel 5:6-7
  • I dismantle every weapon of the enemy against my life IJN Colossians 2:15
  • ROSGMI/FAMILY: I uproot and destroy the counsel of the wicked one IJN Matthew 15:13
  • I command favour, blessings, goodness, prosperity, power and the spirit of excellence pursue and overtake ROSGMI, my family, my business and my career IJN Psalm 23:6; Daniel 6:3
  • The blood of Jesus cleanses me of all dead works preventing me from serving God IJN. Hebrews 9:14



  • I pray that every word that the Servant-Leader proclaims this year will be honoured with signs and wonders IJN. 1 Samuel 3:19
  • I unseat every wicked person standing in way of our progress as a nation IJN. Esther 7:9-10; Colossians 2:15
  • I decree divine strength on every worker of the ministry to work as unto You and not be feeble IJN. 2 Peter 1:3-4
  • I receive total healing in my body this year IJN. Isaiah 58:8
  • I decree open heavens over my life, family, business, ROSGMI and Nigeria Psalm 144:5-7



  • I divert all arrows of death away from me, my family and every member of ROSGMI IJN. Psalm 91:3-5
  • I declare war against every enemy of my soul IJN. Numbers 24:8; Deuteronomy 32:41
  • I nullify every satanic contention against ROSGMI and all members IJN. Jeremiah 30:16
  • I rebuke every decree of the enemy over my life, family, business and ROSGMI IJN. Isaiah 54:17
  • I receive power to witness your gospel and win souls to your glory IJN Acts 1:8




  • I prophesy the glorification of your kingdom in the upcoming conference and crusade IJN Isaiah 46:10-11
  • I declare unusual grace and favour on my business IJN Esther 2:15
  • I uproot every wrong foundation in my lineage IJN Matthew 15:13
  • I decree that the blood of Jesus will expose and frustrate every evil plan against me, my family and ROSGMI IJN. Revelation 12:11
  • I command your strength on your ministers nationwide, that they will not grow weary in doing Your work IJN Daniel 11:32b




  • I break every chain of stagnation in my life, in my family and in your ministry ROSGMI IJN Deuteronomy 1:6-8
  • I uplift and announce ROSGMI for your name to be glorified IJN John 1:29; Matthew 3:17
  • I decree that You will stir up the giant within my CHILDREN and enable them to fulfil their destinies in IJN. Isaiah 8:18
  • I pray that you will enlarge my coast that I can be a blessing to all I come in contact with IJN. I Chronicles 4:10
  • I pray that God’s anointing for greatness will come upon me and also upon ROSGMI as a whole IJN. Psalm 71:21




  • I pray that you will strengthen the Servant-Leader so that she will not grow faint IJN Isaiah 11:2; Philippians 4:13
  • I refuse to backslide in my walk with You IJN. Philippians 3:14
  • I command doors of supernatural provision to be open unto me IJN Revelation 3:8
  • I decree that lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places IJN Psalm 16:6
  • I destroy every work of darkness in my life and in the life of every member of ROSGMI IJN 1 John 3:8b




  • I command every insurgency in Nigeria to cease and decree peace IJN Psalm 122:6-7
  • I pray that every guest minister will be filled with the spirit of discernment and wisdom. Isaiah 11:2
  • I command the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to know and walk in God’s will at all times. Ephesians 1:17
  • I severe myself from every generation curse and its consequences IJN Galatians 3:13
  • I decree that Your glory will overshadow the Servant-Leader for Your name to be exalted always IJN Matthew 17:5



  • I receive grace to align my hearts, mind and will to that of God all the time IJN. Romans 12:1-2
  • I am a chosen generation and a royal priesthood, seated with Christ in heavenly places therefore I am far above principalities, powers and rulers of this world IJN. 1 Peter 2:9
  • I activate Your covenant of fruitfulness and multiplication in my life, family, and in ROSGMI IJN. Genesis 1:28
  • I am anointed and God’s heir therefore I plant good things that will advance my progress in life IJN. Romans 8:17a
  • I permanently close all ancient doors that provide access to the enemy in my life, family and ROSGMI IJN Isaiah 22:22




  • I receive power to activate all of God’s potential in my life IJN. 2 Tim 1:7; Acts 1:8
  • The blood of Jesus breaks me from every ancestral hold upon my life IJN. Ephesians 1:7; 1 Peter 1:18-19
  • I ask for an overflow of miracles, signs and wonders in ROSGMI IJN. Jeremiah 32:27
  • I receive the abundance of blessing and goodness that you have already stored up for me IJN Deuteronomy 28:12
  • My body is the temple of the Holy Ghost therefore I command anything affecting my sound health, that of my family members or ROSGMI members to give way now by the resurrection Power of the Lord Jesus Christ IJN 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Jeremiah 33:6



  • We agree and decree today as believers that incessant killings of the innocent in the land will cease IJN. Jeremiah 29:17; Matthew 18:19
  • I ask oh Lord that just like the sons of Issachar, You will give our leaders wisdom, knowledge and understanding to lead right IJN. 1 Chronicles 12:32
  • I pronounce judgement over every power of the wicked oppressing people in ROSGMI that they will begin to eat their own flesh and drink their own blood IJN Psalm 145:20; Psalm 37:38
  • I ask oh Lord that by your mercy, You will silence every evil plan against the Servant-Leader and that she will walk in her divine calling IJN. Psalm 143:12
  • I receive divine direction and clarity in all I do IJN Proverbs 3:5-6



  • I ask for divine protection, reject any loss of lives and property in our families and in ROSGMI and ask for total restoration of all that has been lost IJN. Joel 2:25-26
  • I destroy every plan of the devil that wants to cause disunity and confusion in ROSGMI IJN Psalm 133; Acts 2:1-3, Joel 2:7
  • I decree that my children’s light will shine, and You will preserve them from making costly mistakes in life IJN. Matthew 5:16
  • I pray that there will be continuous growth and increase in my work and business IJN Psalm 115:14-15
  • I enjoy sound health and reject sickness and disease of any sort in my life, family and in the life of every ROSGMI Member IJN. Deuteronomy 7:15



  • I receive grace to win souls into your kingdom and to be a light wherever I go IJN. Matthew 5:14; Proverbs 11:30
  • I bind every spirit of fear and decree that all negative doors that the spirit of fear has opened in the past be sealed forever IJN. Romans 8:15
  • I tread upon every enemy of my progress and every devourer of the fruit of my labour IJN. Malachi 3:11
  • I pray that my family will be worthy ambassadors of Your Kingdom IJN 2 Corinthians 5:20
  • I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus therefore I speak victory and prosperity into my life IJN. Colossians 1:14



  • I put my trust in You oh Lord for You will supply all my needs according to Your riches in glory by Christ Jesus and multiply all I lay my hands on IJN. Psalm 34:10
  • I receive fresh power to breakthrough over financial limitations IJN. Ephesians 3:20
  • I decree that You will fulfil Your covenant of glorious manifestations in the life of the Servant-Leader IJN. Romans 8:19
  • I frustrate any plans of the devil that wants to stop the spread of the gospel or hinder the church in Nigeria from fulfilling her ministry IJN. Psalm 21:11
  • My children will not be victims of rape, kidnapping, drugs or of someone else’s mistake IJN Psalm 91:1-2



  • I command daily outpouring of the Holy Spirit with signs following during the Marriage Conference and National Crusade IJN Mark 16:20; Acts 2:17-19
  • I declare I will listen only to the voice of the spirit and will not follow the voice of any stranger IJN. John 10:5; 8:47
  • I deliver myself from stagnation and every plan of the enemy aimed at pulling me down IJN Isaiah 50:8
  • I destroy and uproot every form of sickness in my body and enjoy perfect health and wholeness IJN. Isaiah 58:8; Jeremiah 30:17
  • Personal Supplication. Jeremiah 33:3; Matthew 7:7-8



  • Personal Supplication Philippians 4:6
  • I thank You Father for strengthening me all the days of the fast Psalm 46:1
  • I thank You because lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places for me and all that is mine in this year 2018 IJN Isaiah 43:19
  • I thank You for what You will do in my life, family and in ROSGMI this year Psalm 100:4
  • I thank You for the glorious future I have in You. Psalm 67:5-7
  • I thank You for answering my prayers. Psalm 103




  • RE-CAP:
  • WHY?

Definition of Marriage:

 “The union of two people of the opposite sex who have pledged to love one another unconditionally and live together forever with God as their witness.” (UOM)

God is the witness of all marriages, whether you do it in secret or with just one witness or with three thousand witnesses.

I pray for those who are still looking for life partners/spouses that today shall be a turning point in the Name of Jesus.

Those who say you will not marry MUST let you go in the name of Jesus.

God’s desire/reasons for marriage

  1. To tend the Land (Man) – to look after the Earth.

Genesis 2:15

Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

  1. Supporter: (Woman) – that person who will help him fulfil that God given role. Give him aid to achieve his purpose.

Genesis. 2:18

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

  1. One flesh

– man supposed to look after the wife.

– Godly offspring.

Malachi 2:15 

But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

  1. Procreate – populate the earth.

Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

  1. Sex – to enjoy sex legally; according to the will of God

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 

but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

The Search: HOW?

PREPARE yourself – you are both looking.

  1. Prayer: God is our enabler.
  • You need to know God; better still if you can give your life to Christ, it makes all the difference.

Philippians 4:6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

  • Ask Him what you want.
  1. Looks (Men & Women)
  • Dressing (Dress the way you want to be addressed). What and who do you want to look like?
  • Professional Dressing
  • Casual Dressing
  • Social Dressing
  • Grooming
  • Hair
  • Personal Hygiene
    • Deodorant
    • Mouthwash
    • Douching
    • Laundry
  1. Character/Qualities (What makes a good wife or husband?)
  • Extrovert/Introvert?
  • Responsible/Reliable
  • Disciplined
  • Generous
  • Loving
  • Proud/humble
  • Resilient
  • Patient
  • Kind
  • Homebuilder
  • Lord Jesus, I pray for divine direction. Lead me to my God-ordained life partner
  • I dissociate myself from any covenant or evil prophecy of late marriage
  • I pray that any strange marks on my body be rubbed off and washed away with the blood of Jesus

Galatians 3:13

Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”

  • In this programme, O Lord, I divorce my own will to receive your will. Help me to make the right choice
  • Lord, open my eyes, help me to shine them well and beyond seductive evil forces of the enemy IJN.
  • I reject every spiritual marriage certificate signed in the spirit world on my behalf to nullify my marriage here on earth
  • I reject the provision of a counterfeit spouse IJN.
  • Lord Jesus as from today, my footsteps shall be directed to the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh or to my Boaz IJN.


  • Lord, I believe you have created my son/daughter for a special woman/man, bring their union to pass IJN.
  • Father, in the name of Jesus just as Abraham sent his servant to find his son Isaac a wife, send the Holy Spirit to bring my sons and daughters’ future spouses IJN.
  • READERS – Pray from your heart.

  • Marriage is a beautiful institution that originated from God Himself.


  • It is meant to be a beautiful experience, a foretaste of “heaven on earth”.


  • There are different phases in marriage and it needs different behaviour. If you are no willing to change and adapt, you will not enjoy your marriage


Quotes on Change

  • Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.”


  • Henry Ford also said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”


  • Wikkipedia defined INSANITY as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”




Ephesians 5:28

“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”


  • These ones are easily provoked at the slightest opportunity?
  • These ones beat their wives to show that they are the boss in the house.
  • They will be quick to tell the woman “I am the man in this house”

GOLDEN RULE: If you love your wife as your own body, you will not be violent to her or mistreat her.



Proverbs 27:8

“Like a bird that wanders from its nest, Is a man who wanders from his place.”


  • These are the men that are never around to support their wife and children.
  • They are either womanisers or workaholics
  • Some of them prefer to be with their friends rather than go home after work

GOLDEN RULE: Love your wife and family and be there for them



1 Timothy 5:8

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”


  • They are very generous to everyone else except their wife and children. They will not provide enough for their family even when they can do so.
  • These will put their brother, sister, mother, friend rather than their wife as their next of kin in their offices
  • If they buy a property or properties their immediate family will not be in the know.
  • These ones do not protect their family from undue family interference

GOLDEN RULE: Provide for your family’s need as much as you can and protect them from any harmful environment or persons





Proverbs 14:10

“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

  • These kinds of women are the ones that always stoke the fire of war in the family
  • If her husband is angry with his siblings, instead of trying to make peace, she will be butting their heads against each other

GOLDEN RULE: Learn to always seek the path of peace



2 Timothy 3:2

“For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,”

  • These kinds of women are never appreciative of their husbands no matter what he does
  • They are always comparing him with others who they feel are better, richer, more loving than their husbands
  • They are never satisfied with their status in life
  1. Selfish: she always wants everything to be done her way or not at all



Esther 1:10-12

10 On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded….seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, 11 to bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing her royal crown, in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials, for she was beautiful to behold. 12 But Queen Vashti refused to come at the command brought by his eunuchs; therefore, the king was furious, and his anger burned within him.


  • These kinds of women are very rude to their husbands
  • They do not listen to advise or instruction
  • They are selfish and they want things to always go their way
  • They treat him anyhow especially when they are making more money than him


GOLDEN RULE: Learn to give honour and respect to your husband as the head of the home and family



  • The major criteria for success in Marriage is God wants us to become one in mind, soul and body when we get married.


  • There is so much power in unity: Jesus Christ prayed to God the Father in John 17:11 to make the disciples one.

“Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are.”


  • God acknowledges that nothing will be impossible to those who unite. They will accomplish whatever they put their minds to.


Remember the tower of babel in Genesis 11:5-6?

“But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6And the Lord said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them”


  • The same will happen in any marriage relationship that both partners are in one accord.


The devil understands this as well and so he will try to ensure that couples do not access the power that lies in unity.


How does the devil fight UNITY in the Marriage?

  1. He does this by causing misunderstanding and miscommunication between the couple.


  1. When misunderstandings occur each partner blames the other and no one wants to accept being in the wrong


  1. If this lingers for too long, it might cause a rift that may be difficult to bridge and which could eventually lead to separation and divorce



  • Al Hoffman andDick Manning (1952) said “it takes two to tango”.


  • For the marriage to work, the husband must be willing to make allowances as well as the wife. If it is only one partner that is doing all the change and adjustments, the partner may eventually get tired and feel that he/she is being taken for granted.





  1. Don’t say anything negative to your spouse. If you don’t have something positive to say, keep quiet


James 1:19

“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath



  1. Show an unexpected gesture as an act of kindness

Ephesians 4:32

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you”


  1. Be generous towards your partner to show how much you value them


Proverbs 11:25

“The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself.”


  1. Ask after the welfare of your spouse. Be mindful of them


  1. Pray for one another

James 5:16

“and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much”.



  1. Listen to each other, don’t be quick to jump to conclusion

James 1:19

“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, 


  1. Study your spouse, learn to know what they like and don’t like


  1. Watch out for parasites; things that suck life out of your marriage. They may be in the form of addictions, negative friends




The desire of God for our marriages is that it should be joyful and happy.


Therefore, it is our responsibility to fight for our marriages and our family. God will help us and our homes will become a place of refuge and succor to all the members in Jesus name. Amen